My girlfriend is the best, seriously. She does what I wish most people would do with my scars - mostly ignore them. Thankfully, most of my scars are hidden by most clothing...I can wear most t-shirts without them showing. But Maggie sees me without clothing, with lights on...and she doesn't touch them funny, she doesn't look at them funny, she doesn't ask what they are from....she just treats me as a normal person without crazy burn and cut scars.
This morning I was having a nightmare. It wasn't directly about rape, but more of an indirect. No one was listening to me about this stupid stepmom that my dad was going to marry. Granted, my parents are still married in the real world, but it was so very frustrating and I started doing more and more crazy things to get people to listen to me. I was hitting someone in the dream when I realized....I was doing it in real life; I was hitting Maggie. I started sobbing and even though I had semi-realized what I was doing....I couldn't stop hitting her. And then I didn't want to talk about it because what crazy girl has a dream where no one is listening to her pain that makes her wake up sobbing and hitting? Me apparently.
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